9 months - I remember thinking how far away that sounded when Blake was first born. Everything seemed so overwhelming and now here it is - Blake is 9 months old and I am starting to get the hang of all this "mommy" stuff. I think life definitely threw an extra curve ball in there with the diagnosis and as I look back with everything, it has been hard. I feel mostly bad for my sweet Blake. We have been to the doctor almost every week for some check up, test or other standard appointment for most of his short life so far. The thing that bothers me most is the pain he has to go through. A few weeks ago, they had to draw blood from my sweet baby and they couldn't find one of his sweet little tiny baby veins! After poking around in both arms for about 10 minutes (and granted it felt more like 60!) they finally gave up and told me to come back. I took my hysterically crying sweet baby boy out of there! And I didn't bring him back til those bruises were good and gone!
As I was apologizing to my sweet boy for that injustice and crying a few tears with him, I just felt so bad for him and what he is already going thru and what he has to endure that other babies don't. We have been truly lucky - I know that. He has avoided so many of the standard problems that babies like him are born with. But pain is pain and I hate seeing him go thru these things. He is put thru the rigors with therapy sessions that are too intense and appointments where he endures pain. It breaks my heart and I keep wishing I could take it for him. But on the flip side, I know he has a special gift to give. He already brings so much joy to those around him. He has so much happiness in spite of it all. Sometimes he gets so excited throughout the day that he just starts a round of screaming out in joy! It makes me laugh so hard. Or he will keep smacking his toy on his high chair and have so much energy and life in his sweet deep blue eyes.
He has become my life in this short period of 9 months and I can't imagine anything happening without him now! He is such a love. Sorry this post is a little longer...but thanks for reading it. Things are going well, and Blake and I are enjoying learning about life together. I am glad I can share that journey with you all.
(And we have Daddy to blame for putting his socks on his hands for these silly pictures!!)
