5 Years Old!

Blakey turns five years old today. Five years. It's so much time and hardly any at all. The experiences that fill my heart bespeak of grand amounts of time far greater than five short years. And naturally, this morning, my heart travels back in time with images of that first morning with Blakey. I remember a tiny being, so small, only five pounds and two ounces. He was perfect and he was mine. I remember the shock of him being mine! It seemed so surreal.

Through all the experiences and all the learning times and a surprise diagnosis, this little boy has been there, this being of light and joy. He is the one I lean on and he is the one that guides me forward. I wrote in that very first blog, "a little child shall lead them." And those very words are what ring so true today. He has led me in ways I couldn't have imagined. And not only myself, but Blakey has guided others forward with giggles and smiles and the warmest of hugs.

He senses things, so deeply. I was told at his birth that he would have no range of emotion, no continuum of feeling. He would be narrow and feel mostly happiness and some sadness. He would be incapable of more intricate emotion and understanding. I have found that disproven time and again as he wanders through life. He finds a man at the grocery store, glumly stacking shelves, and Blakey knows that man needs a warm hello. He proceeds to say hello as many times as it takes for that man to turn around and find a smile that changes his day. He notices when the woman behind us seems lost in thought, sad and pensive. He reaches out for her, out of my arms to grab her in a hug and she clings to him for that brief moment burying her head in his tiny neck. 

He finds a statue in the park and signs teacher and stares in wonder at an old man teaching a small child. He notices faces and moods and people and places and his understanding is actually far beyond his age. At this point, we have gone through so many tests that prove Blakey has a low IQ, that Blakey functions below the average, but these stories ring in my heart like tiny silver bells of hope and truth. He is so beautiful and in the ways that true growth matters, he has surpassed those tests and finds ways of living that they can never measure.

 I call him my golden boy, the sunlight spilling onto his hair and creating a halo for his head. He runs on toddler feet still, his coordination still working to grow, but his heart and soul is that of a wise old man and I follow as he leads. His smile is infectious and his giggle contagious. He shows me the tiniest treasures and the innate wonder of our great world. I hope he knows he is my world and I love him more than life. Thank you for choosing me Blakey. And Mr. Blake? Happy birthday!