Blake is 4 months old!

How does time go so fast and so slow at the same time? I feel like I can't believe it has been 4 months since Blake was born but in the same breath, I feel like I have lived a lifetime in those 4 months. The things I didn't expect and the things I did have combined and made for a roller coaster ride over this past season. I expected to feel sleep deprived and excited. I expected to feel moments of joy and moments when I felt overwhelmed. What I didn't expect was all that would happen when that nurse told me shortly after delivery that my baby had Trisomy 21. Those few little moments changed my life forever and the last 4 months have been a whirlwind of the expected and the unexpected with doctors appointments and therapy sessions. Before that diagnosis, I thought my life would go on much as before - I would go back to teaching this fall and life would essentially be the same with one new member in our little family.

But life has been a turn and a half for me! I felt so disoriented and still do often. I am trying to do the best I can by Blake and we often have 3 separate therapy sessions a day and meet with the actual therapist once a week. It is intense and emotional. I feel elated when he does something he is supposed to and worried when he doesn't. It is more than just a physical workout everyday for Blake and me - it is an emotional workout in which I feel my heart leap and dive thru every little thing Blake does or does not do. I want so badly for him to grow and learn but I don't want to push him too hard or too much. I still want to be his loving mom first and foremost. So... Blake and I are learning together and trying to maneuver on this path that life is taking us on.

Who knew what a turn life would take. Above all, I can't say how much I love my little angel and what I feel when I look at him. He is my sunshine and I feel beyond thankful for him. He is filling my life with purpose and love and giving so much more than I even thought possible. At four months he is sitting in his Bumbo chair, beaming when Daddy makes funny faces and reaching out to touch our cheeks and chins. I love watching his curiosity and his zest for life. He is my little love Bug and I enjoy my every minute with him! I hate to put him in his crib at night because I miss him so much. I guess I was scared of what Down's syndrome meant and how that would affect my baby. But more and more I see that he is engaged and happy and so ready to laugh at the silly things I do for him. He tackles tummy time and his exercises with gusto! And he starting to yell out in joy when he sees his favorite toy.He is everything and more I could have hoped for in a baby and he is mine!

Here is a pic of Daddy reading to him - he is starting to look at a book when he is read to and get excited about the pictures he sees. So exciting!